Asking for help was, and still is a challenge.

December 2010, first time I realized that something with my body was not right. Unable to charge a rifle on the gun range, something I had done many times in the previous eleven years.

April 2011, I’m told that I have a disease called ALS, the disease has a terminal prognosis, two to five years of life expectancy, and that I should get my affairs in order. Leaving the doctor’s office in a state of shock and disbelief, and with a feeling of numbness, were soon replaced with a spirit of defiance to the disease and diagnosis. You don’t know me, nor have you met someone like me ALS! I have kids and grandchildren to be here for. HIV was supposed to take one of my basketball hero’s, Magic Johnson, away from the world, but God and Magic had a different plan!

So, what is the plan, fight and live with light, or flight with a darkness? As a participant in athletics during my youth years and through my college years, and as a leader of young men as a basketball coach, to not fight would go against everything that I have learned and have been teaching. Flight would signal hypocritical messages.

Ironically, for me, fight involved a flight from a career of holding bad guys accountable for their violations of criminal laws and taking their ill gotten assets as a Special Agent with IRS Criminal Investigation. I did not think a drop foot, one armed agent would be good for going after bad guys, would make for an entertaining movie though, lol! Part of the fight, continuing with the blessing from God to have a role in the development of young men as the Men’s Basketball Coach at CCBC Catonsville until 2015! Unbeknownst to me, that would involve multiple face plants because of that darn drop foot. Despite the attempts to perform facial reconstructive, the young people that I interacted with reminded me of the joy of life!

Part of fight was still enjoying the things in life I have always have, seeing my Orioles beat the Yankees with two of my sons, one of which is a Yankees fan (he was not raised right), watching my Ravens win the Super Bowl in New Orleans, attending hip-hop concerts, having an active role in the development of my teenage son, my younger children, my grandchildren and adult children.

Part of fight, accepting the use of medical devices and equipment to help sustain life, and the help from family and friends! Both were challenging things for me because of the independence I had, and I have always been the helper. Asking for help was, and still is a challenge. Growing in my personal relationship with God, has helped me not be so prideful, and appreciate the expressions of love from family and friends.

Part of fight, is fighting for awareness and a cure for this horrible disease! The only way change can be had, is fighting for something different. It would have been easy to fly into isolation and submit to the darkness / negativity, but what good / change comes from that? We all have the freedom to choose to be a light, or a source of darkness, for me, I choose to let my light shine bright!